My spouse cries because he is caught cheating and then cannot look me in the eye

Sometimes I hear of wives who are not as moved by the tears of their unfaithful husband as he would have hoped. For one thing, it can be very unpleasant to watch your adult husband cry. On the other hand, most wives worry that he’s just putting on a show because they’ve gotten him. Some wives say it is quite a pitiful sight, with the husband overwhelmed with emotion, but unable to look at or speak to his wife while crying.

A wife might explain: “My husband’s tears do not come out. He is like a small child who has been caught by hand in the cookie jar and slapped. I am extremely furious with him, so I know how he feels. my anger … I try to put myself in his position and I know I’d be sweating bullets right now if the roles were reversed. So I don’t envy him right now. But every time we try to have a conversation about it, he starts sobbing. He can’t even utter the words. He just cries and trembles. I’ll ask him what’s wrong and he’ll just shake his head. I’ll ask him if he has anything he wants to say and he just shakes his head and doesn’t even look me in the eye. Are you embarrassed? Is he crying? Is he acting? Is he mad at me for not looking at me? What are his motivations for turning on the taps? Why is he crying but not talking to me or looking at me? “

This is just speculation on my part, but I think a lot of it is tied to guilt and shame. I think it probably hurts a man’s pride to cry and keep going over and over again. Many wives think that their husbands are faking it, but I believe that being overwhelmed with emotion in every conversation would require a man to be a very good actor and to be willing to repeatedly humiliate himself. Not all men will meet this criteria. Maybe I’m naive, but I think that many people (men and women included) who are caught up in an affair are genuine when they cry. I have heard of many unfaithful spouses in this scenario and none of them have admitted to crying. Instead, they admit that they legitimately cry all the time. They are overwhelmed with emotion. In addition, they are often very embarrassed.

I never cheated, but I could only compare it to the time when I was in a rush and accidentally locked my dog ​​in the car with the keys in it. I realized what had happened immediately and immediately asked for help. A locksmith had to come and use tools to get the dog out. But before the locksmith arrived, he was frantically scratching at the door and looking at me confused as to why I wasn’t helping him. He began to gasp, walk, and panic. When the dog came out, he was hyperventilating and I was afraid this would hurt him. Even though I was ultimately safe and well, I cried over this incident for days afterward, even though my tears meant nothing. I was so mad at myself because I got distracted and put my dog ​​(who was like my son at the time) in danger. I kept thinking about the worst case scenario and it was weeks before I didn’t think about it constantly. And yes, every time I looked at my dog, I felt guilt, shame, and pain that made me cry. This continued for some time. Luckily, the dog had many more happy years with me and I spoiled it a lot. Then, as time passed and I did not repeat my carelessness, I thought about it less and less.

I can only speculate, but I believe that being the culprit of a betrayal as serious as an affair is an extremely heavy burden. Seeing someone you love hurt so deeply has almost ripped your heart out. After the car lock incident, every time I saw my dog, I had a mental image of him panting in that hot car. And even seeing it would make me play again. He would think about how I would have felt if my carelessness had really hurt him. I’m sure your husband feels something similar. He sees you and the mere sight of you makes him face the seriousness of what he did and what he has put at risk. It is painful to face this. In my case, I did not want to hurt my dog. I rushed in and this made me careless. That’s why your husband’s pain has to be so much worse than mine – he knows he made a decision that could have gone either way and he chose the decision that hurts the people he loves. And now you have to try to look those people in the eye and you can’t. He or she is embarrased. And embarrassed. And probably horrified by what he’s done. I cannot affirm that there are no men who do not act when they cry. But try to imagine if the roles were reversed and you had to face your injured husband. Would you cry I know I would. I would cry repeatedly and uncontrollably, if my dog’s story is any indication. And initially I might have a hard time looking at my husband because doing so would mean that I would have to see his pain, which in turn would be incredibly painful for me. It’s almost like it’s so bad that you have to look away, but that’s because you’re sorry and not because you’re not being sincere.