My husband is in love with another woman but wants to stay with me

The other day I got an email from a wife saying, “My husband is in love with someone else. He is very honest about the fact that he loves her, but he says his commitment is to me and our family. He is se he’s going to date me, but I feel like he’s only with me because he’s obligated. I suspect if he could get away with it, he’d be with her. How can I have a marriage knowing I’m second prize?” next item.

If your husband is in love with someone else, you should not have contact with them if you are going to save your marriage: This sounds like common sense, but I can’t tell you how many women write to me and explain a situation where the husband gets along with the wife and the lover. This scenario cannot end well. If her husband has the ability to compare him to the woman who isn’t doing her laundry or picking up her trash or carrying the baggage of history between you, then he may very well lose.

If he is truly committed to you, then his loyalty and attention should be at home. To restore trust and intimacy, you can’t and shouldn’t worry if he has been with her. He must cut all ties. There are no exceptions for this. I realize that he can work well with her, but if this is the case then very firm boundaries need to be set (and I actually prefer that he transfer or get another job). her in your life You deserve better than this and you should demand it.

If he wants to stay with you, make him earn this right. He must not see her, talk to her or interact with her and he must provide you with what you need to show you that you can trust that this is the reality of the situation.

Focusing only on the two of you: Once you remove this woman from your life (and your husband’s), your focus should shift to the two of you. Don’t give her more power than she deserves from her and don’t keep coming back to her or her relationship. For this to work, both of you must commit to repairing the marriage. Continuing to think about her goes against this. And frankly, continuing to mention her just makes her husband think of her. You obviously don’t want this. Keep her attention where she belongs: on you and your family.

Now, it’s true that you’ll need to explore why the affair happened, but instead focus on what went wrong in YOUR relationship and how to fix it instead of what was so special about YOUR relationship. Their relationship should be over, done and eventually forgotten. You can speed this up by focusing on the things that will help reestablish the bond and connection.

I find that many people make the mistake of pushing the situation too hard. This makes both people feel awkward and awkward. These negative feelings can make you feel like this is just a lost cause. It’s important for both of you to be clear on the fact that the commitment is there, so it’s either okay to muddle through or fight for a while. You need to know that he is absolutely committed to you and vice versa, so that if there are tough times ahead, both of you will hang on, knowing that if you can get through the next few weeks, things will be much easier.

Create a newer and better marriage: Yes, getting over this is hard. But, it is important not to make it heavy. Focus on having fun together every day when you are ready. You must create what is a “new normal”. However, this new state of being should eventually be better than what came before. Visit new places. To have new experiences. Shop, travel and eat in new places that will create new memories. Get out of your comfort zone to create feelings of excitement, exploration, and anticipation.

I know that part of this article has focused on it and its negative aspects. But, I want you to focus on what the good news is. He has made it clear that he is committed to you. Many wives do not have this luxury. I have so many women who write to me and tell me that he is not only in love with someone else, but that he is leaving and going to be with her. This is not her situation, so take advantage of what you have right now: her commitment (and hopefully yours too).