How to reach customers where they live emotionally
Don’t you love the web? Don’t you just love sitting by a warm fire with the web? Wouldn’t you like to have babies with him? Sometimes, I want to divorce myself from the web.
Actually, I want to divorce many of the web writers. Take the example below… please.
Let’s listen to it for self-interest!
COPY SAMPLE: “We understand how content, services, and the user interface interact to produce unique and powerful results for…“
I know that the person who wrote the sample copy does not hate the web or intend to harm it. They expected this to be a brilliant copy. it is not
You and I, as seekers of information and shiny objects, don’t really care what a company “understands” about the world. What do we care? [All together]
OUR OWN INTERESTS!
That’s not as bad as ALL CAPS would imply. Human beings are largely self-interested creatures. It’s okay; we are still good mammals.
Give them what they come here iron
When you talk to a web audience, you need to think and write about what customers are looking for. They came looking for something to improve their lives (information, products, entertainment, etc.).
So let’s not start the sales copy by telling potential customers what we know or understand. Let’s show them speaking directly to their wants and needs.
The slang is for people who hate their mothers.
“We understand how content, services, and the user interface interact to produce unique and powerful results for…“
Potential customers may or may not know what “user interface” really means. They might think so. Even if they do, how sexy is it that terminology? Does the desire to click their contact link make you breathless?
Why use jargon? Doesn’t really sound smarter. It is not clear and concise. Why do you hate your customers?
A mutual or reciprocal action
“We understand how content, services, and the user interface interact to produce unique and powerful results for…“
The use of the word “interact” in this context is meaningless. How does it help you to have someone you don’t know understand the interaction between things you’re not even sure you need?
And really… I think Superman and Wonder Woman are the only ones capable of only powerful results. If you were to hire this company, you’re lucky you probably wouldn’t remember later that you were supposed to get exceptionally powerful results. Though if he did remember, and they didn’t live up to this hyperbole, he would be exceptionally unhappy.
flaccid optimization
I’ll just briefly mention that this copy is from a home page and there is nothing in the sentence quoted above that will optimize the page for search engines. And believe it or not, this is the copy on your HOME page that is supposed to draw readers to your top-of-the-line services.
Well, would you?
If the example above was the description below the company link on a search results page, would you click the link? What could we do to improve this little sentence (to improve the odds of customers clicking)?
This company touts its use of data-driven design. If this were the most attractive feature to your customer base (which I hope you’ve looked into), let’s rewrite the copy to read like this:
“Is your website doing all it can for you? It will when we’re done with it. Call us for a FREE consultation on how data-driven design drives traffic to your site.”
If this text appeared below the business link on Google, that’s a link I’d click. It has a text that I understand and something (data-driven design) that makes me curious.
Most importantly, put benefits before features.