Emotions like the weather

Although most people in the country would disagree, in Southern California we have had some extreme weather for us: rain and mudslides. You could almost say that we are so used to mild conditions that we are afraid of what others would call “real” weather cowards. Being afraid, ashamed, or embarrassed about your feelings is like being afraid of the weather, because emotions (tears, panic attacks, angry outbursts, withdrawal, depression, euphoria, lust, romantic excitement, euphoria) are the weather conditions inside. be.

Certainly, there are weather conditions that are fearsome, such as hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, exploding volcanoes, and fierce fires, and we must control them if we can and protect ourselves from them. But, just like the weather, most emotional weather conditions are pretty mild.

My clients have found it very helpful to use weather metaphors to understand how natural and normal all feelings are. Here are my thoughts on the basics of emotional climate. It’s a concept I’m working on, so please share your ideas and reactions.

sunshine

Your smile illuminates your face as the sun illuminates our day. Smiles can also come from behind the clouds or after emotional storms. The smile indicates that all is well, the pressure is level and the coast is clear to go out, open up and have fun.

Rain

Like rain, tears can be stormy or just a light spray, and feel angry, cold, dreary and sad, or even come through the sunlight. Rain often follows a change in weather pressure, and tears can be the result of internal tension being released. People often cry with relief that they have been heard or that they can see a solution where there seemed to be a problem. Those who experience trauma or loss usually cry a little after the first shock of finding out, since the terrible pressure of the news is absorbed and the grievance is established.

The rain first carries the dust suspended in the air with it and then washes everything away as it goes. Emotional fallout can also be painful at first and then start to bring release and clarity. A “good cry” is one that really lets go of held-in feelings and continues until relief is felt.

rainbow

When you allow the tears to flow until your natural smile returns, you will feel hopeful again, hope is the rainbow of our inner climate. Like a rainbow, hope doesn’t exist until there has been disappointment, and disappointment has been accepted long enough to let the sun shine once more. That smile, which comes through sadness, brings with it a renewed feeling of hope.

storms

Sometimes the reluctance to express unhappiness or discomfort creates a pressure that eventually releases quickly, like a storm. Violent storms shake things up, as does strong anger. Anger that is allowed to get out of control is as destructive as a hurricane, but anger that is expressed in healthy ways can “clear the air” just as a storm does. the aftermath of a healthythe not too violent storm allows us to appreciate the pleasures of calm.

Cloudiness and Fog

Emotionally, things are not always very clear. It’s normal to feel confused and insecure, or depressed and dark from time to time. If you can remember that it’s just your emotional weather and explore it to discover the cause, the fog will lift, the clouds will part, it may rain or storm a bit, but the sun will eventually rise again. Normal depression that isn’t allowed to run its natural course, that doesn’t open up to let in fresh air, can turn into emotional smog or indoor pollution.

Smog

Emotional smog, like weather smog, is just normal cloudy/foggy conditions with man-made trash added. We call it clinical depression. Everyone is depressed from time to time, but those who attack themselves when depressed, or have others around them pollute their internal atmosphere with criticism or shame, become smog-bound and cannot cleanse their internal atmosphere. . Letting in the fresh air of caring and the warmth of emotional support allows the fog to lift and the sun to rise again.

Internal Conditions

If you try to pay the same amount of daily attention to your internal conditions that you probably do to the weather report, and begin to regard your feelings as naturally as the weather, you’ll feel much more emotionally comfortable. Like the weather, your feelings are easier to accept and live with when you handle them, respond to them, and don’t try to resist or deny them. If you understand your feelings as the weather, you can have many beautiful indoor days.

your sense of emotion

We are taught that human attributes include five senses: sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. Only in science fiction do we read about a sixth sense, which is usually represented as a psychic sense. However, if you think about it, your emotions are your true “sixth sense”. Like your other five senses, your emotions record data about the outside world. With your sight, your eyes take in data about the colors, shapes, and relative sizes of things in the world around us. Touch tells us how things feel, how warm, cold, smooth, hard, sharp, or smooth they are.

Your emotions tell you what the feelings of others are. We can feel, almost psychically, how someone feels at a distance, without being told. By comparing what our other senses tell us about others (smiles, frowns, tension, “prickly vibes,” relaxed breathing, and an indescribable type of data we call empathy) using what we know about our own inner feelings, we draw conclusions about what other people are feeling. Without being told, we know when someone is angry, when someone has strong positive or negative feelings toward us, and when we are loved.

With mindful practice, people can improve their use of the senses, such as tasting wine, reading braille, refining their sense of color as an artist, or learning to distinguish different fabrics by texture. Certain people, such as psychotherapists and actors, practice and refine emotions until they can feel very small changes. As a psychotherapist, I “read” my clients’ emotions and give them feedback to help them resolve emotional turmoil. “You say you’re fine, but you seem angry,” you might say to someone who’s out of touch with their feelings.

Sight is an external sense: we only see what is outside of us. Touch, however, is both internal and external. We can feel food going down our throat, at times we can feel our own heartbeat, and we can feel muscle cramps and movement from within the body. Emotions are a sense that is both internal and external. For our emotions, it is as if our bodies have no limits and our skin is transparent. We feel our feelings inside and yet they reach out and touch people and also tell us what they feel. It is a type of psychic sense, especially for people who develop it.

Just as your sight helps you navigate the paths, avoid obstacles, and choose the best route, your emotions are the sense that help you navigate the paths of relationships. By knowing your feelings and your sensitivity to the feelings of others, you can be much more effective in all your relationships, maximizing your love, intimacy, emotional well-being, and happiness.

practicing the emotion

You can refine and become sensitive to your feelings by “tracking” what you’re feeling on a daily basis: just stop a few times a day and ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” Once you’re comfortable with that, you can spend some time looking at people and guessing what they might be feeling. You won’t know if you’ve got it right unless you ask, but just practicing paying attention will sharpen your skills.