Effective communication: consider your choice of words and tone of voice
Our lives have changed because of COVID-19. We have encountered different, difficult, and uncertain times with our jobs, careers, families, and finances.
The way we work, socialize and live with each other has changed.
The way we communicate with each other has also changed.
Face-to-face interactions with bosses, co-workers, clients, colleagues, clients, extended family, and friends are limited.
However, moments of union with members of the immediate family, such as children, husbands, wives, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends and other important people increase.
The way we communicate with each other has become more than just the type of medium we use (ie Face to Face, Zoom, FaceTime, Duo, Marco Polo).
The way we communicate with each other has also become a reminder about what we say Y how do we say it.
It is important to have the need for proper, respectful, and loving communication at this time. The reason I say this is because in the last few months I have noticed a change in television commercials. Now I see more often commercials about suicide prevention, mental health, domestic violence, child abuse, and stress management.
These types of commercials are a sign that people are experiencing more stress and conflict in their lives than ever before.
These types of commercials are also a sign that people are feeling stressed to the point of causing harm to themselves and / or others.
When stress increases and we feel like we can’t take it anymore, we lose the ability to communicate effectively. Instead of asking honestly and directly for what we want and need, we attack, insult, sideline, or say nothing at all. We limit our possibilities for a healthy, results-oriented conversation.
Now, more than ever, is the time to make sure we pay attention to how we communicate!
Our communication skills should be used in a healthy way to save our lives, maintain our relationships, and contribute positively to the lives of others.
During this time, we must be aware of our word choice. Choosing our words carefully when we speak will allow us to become aware of what Really tell. Saying the right things when we speak will allow us to maintain valuable relationships with our loved ones. Using the right words when talking to ourselves will increase our self-confidence and begin to remove some of the frustrations we feel.
During this time, we must also be aware of our voice tone. We’ve heard the saying over and over again: “It’s not what you say, it’s What you say it. “Saying the right thing, to others and to ourselves, can be compromised by using the wrong tone.
Recently, a conversation with my boyfriend reminded me of these two lessons.
He and I were discussing an incident that had occurred a few weeks ago. He informed me that during that time he had been mean to him. As I listened and thought about the incident, I realized that he was right. I had been mean to him.
And it had all happened in my choice of words and my tone of voice!
Aargh!
Although he told me that he forgave me because he knew I was going through something at the time, I must admit that I was not proud of myself in realizing that I had made a mistake and used the wrong choice of words and tone of voice with my love.
I was disappointed. To see, these are my trouble spots. I struggle to keep it together with my choice of words and tone of voice in frustrating situations, especially with my loved ones.
Over the years, I have improved my use of proper word choice and tone of voice in frustrating situations. Unfortunately, based on the conversation with my boyfriend, I realized that I had relapsed and that my trouble spots had resurfaced.
Instead of punishing me, I thanked him for being honest with me. I apologized with a hug and a kiss. Then I recognized the incident as an opportunity for growth.
I made a mental note to be aware of how my frustrations influence my choice of words and tone of voice. I made a promise to practice effective communication no matter how frustrated I may feel.
And you?
Have you recently said the wrong thing to someone you love?
Have you allowed your tone of voice to ruin your conversations?
These are frustrating times that demand the effective use of our communication skills. We must be aware of the words we say and the tone in which we say them. We can use our choice of words and tone of voice to ask for help; solve domestic problems without violence; lovingly raise our children without abusing them; and we express power and positivity in our lives and in the lives of others.
The next time you feel frustrated in a conversation with someone, I ask you to do what I will do, to be aware of your choice of words and tone of voice.
This will help you have a healthy, respectful, and results-oriented conversation that you won’t regret.