Do husbands miss the thrill of an affair after it ends?

Sometimes I hear from faithful wives who are concerned about their husband’s feelings after he has finished his affair. Many are concerned that even though their husband appears to be committed to the marriage, the drama and excitement that the affair sparked will be lost. They worry that their marriage may seem boring in comparison.

A wife might say, “My husband and I have been doing quite well after his affair. I am pleasantly surprised because he has been very cooperative with everything I have asked of him. He comes home after work. Never again. And he hasn’t left. complained about this. But I am concerned that he considers staying home boring. I know my husband spent a lot of money on the other woman. They went out and did the weather. My husband and I dined together and took care of our children. So I’m worried that the thrill of adventure will be lost. I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. But sex after you ‘I’ve been married for years, I probably can’t compete with forbidden sex. Am I into How true to think that men tend to miss the excitement when the adventure is over? “

I suppose some men could. But others are really relieved to let it go because it was stressful living with those kinds of secrets and lies. I am not a man who has had an affair, but I have spoken with (and heard from) many of them. Of course, because of my articles, you are probably more likely to hear from those who want to save their marriages. But frankly, a lot of them live in a kind of pretend fantasy world during the adventure. They keep the affair and marriage separate in their minds as much as possible. However, once the affair is discovered, this deception and cover-up cannot continue. And that is when the husband must really see the reality of what he is doing. Usually only then can the seriousness of their actions no longer be denied.

Putting this in perspective: Many men in this situation are very afraid of losing their wife and family. Suddenly they see the adventure for what it was, nothing more than to pretend. Worse, they have now put their family at risk. Once a husband has faced losing his wife and his cozy and comfortable family, he can begin to put both of them on a pedestal, which may be why you see him being so cooperative about staying home.

That is not to say that there are not some men who really want to save their marriage, but are also almost addicted to adventure and the other woman. So even though they tell their wife that the affair is over and they think their words are sincere, this doesn’t stop them from continuing to communicate with the other person because they can’t seem to drop everything.

But that is not true for all men. Since statistics show us that most couples stay together after an affair, I find that most men love their wife and marriage. Many are happy to participate in their family rituals again because they feared they would no longer be welcome to do so. Because of this, many are really happy (and comforted) with their nights eating together and spending time with their children.

Ease your mind: Of course, any married couple can benefit from spicing things up if you think this could help. After my husband’s adventure, my husband and I set out to step out of our comfort zones. We travel more. We spiced up our date nights by agreeing that we would try something new every week. We found joint hobbies that we could pursue together. These things were very beneficial because we felt like we were discovering something new during our recovery and this was fun for both of us.

However, there was no getting around the fact that we were parents with children. Our family came first. We couldn’t pretend we were newlyweds without responsibilities, although we did make an effort to keep things fresh. In the end, neither of us was bored or felt that our lives lacked emotion. After everything we’ve been through, spending quiet nights with our family in our home felt like a privilege because there were times when neither of us was sure that our marriage (or our family) was going to remain intact.

So to answer the original question, sure, there are some men who miss the excitement of the matter. But in my observation, most men are relieved to be back in the lives of their families. They realize their mistake and realize that there is a sweetness and a comfort in their family and marital history that comforts them. When something you value is put at risk because of your mistake, you are often so happy to have it that you don’t see it as boring. You’re glad it’s yours. However, if emotion is something that worries you, there is nothing wrong with trying to spice things up so that neither of you is bored or lacking in emotion.