3 Steps to Gain Confidence in Meeting Women
Your sense of self-confidence is possibly the most important quality you can have when it comes to knowing (and being attractive to) a woman. And confidence tends to come from success: the more successful you are at something, the more confident you are. Which puts you in the middle of a classic catch-22: To meet women you need the confidence that comes from success meeting women. So how do you get the confidence you need to gain the confidence you need? Fortunately, there are some simple tips that help.
1. Play to your strengths.
As a writer, I’ve always done well meeting women online. My writing is one of my particular strengths, so I’ve always been more confident in an environment where a woman’s first impression of me would come from what I’ve written. You also have your strengths, talents, passions, those special things you can do that you especially enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Maybe you spend your weekends fixing your car? That’s great! And it’s a useful talent. You may not be able to bring your car to the bar to show off your skills, but if she ever has car trouble (and really, who doesn’t?), you’d be the best man in the room to let her know. Even if this particular woman may never know how skilled you are, you know what sets you apart from every other guy in the room. Accept it and have confidence in it.
2. Relax.
Some articles like this will warn you that a woman can “sniff out your fear.” This isn’t really true, and it certainly doesn’t do anyone any good to approach her like you would a rabid dog. And while she can’t actually “sniff out your fear,” she will pick up on your body language. If you are tense, you will make her tense too. And both will spend an awkward time together. Take a few deep, relaxing breaths. Imagine approaching her, telling her about her, having a good conversation. Convince yourself that there really is nothing and you will have a stronger presence when you approach her.
3. When all else fails, fake it.
After all that, you’ll probably still have some nerves and cold sweats when it comes time to talk to her. You don’t have to let her know though! Stand up straight. Keep your head up. Look into her eyes. And above all, smile. It also helps to have some “recovery lines” on hand for when you make a fool of yourself. “That came out much better in rehearsal”; or “that really made sense in my head”; or simply, “Cut. Take two.” Told with a smile and a sense of humor, lines like these can help him save face and hold on to her dignity.
It may take some time to get used to these techniques. You probably strike out a lot at first. Don’t let me put you off. Building the confidence to meet women isn’t easy, but the results will definitely be worth it!