What to do when a member of the wedding party gets sick
Weddings are planned months and even years in advance. When an event has such a long wait time, it is inevitable that some things will change along the way. One of the most upsetting situations that can arise is when a close friend or family member falls ill before the wedding. This is what to do when a member of the wedding party becomes ill.
As with everything, there are degrees of disease. If a bridesmaid catches a cold the week of the wedding, she should take a cold medicine, put some tissues in her little tote bag, and show up at the appointed time with her bridesmaid dress and jewelry ready to wear. Give your sick bridesmaid some extra attention and have some orange juice or a nice hot bowl of chicken soup waiting for her when she shows up to do her hair and makeup. Of course, she would be forgiven for leaving the reception right after the cake cutting to go home and sleep.
Something like the flu, on the other hand, has the potential to knock a best man or bridesmaid out of the wedding party. You don’t want someone standing at the altar who is likely to vomit right when the minister asks if someone opposes the marriage! In fact, your guests won’t remember your wedding fondly if they all caught the flu from a highly contagious groomsman. If the flamingo turns out to be one of the parents of the bride or groom, they would obviously go out of their way to get to the wedding, but they should definitely skip the reception line!
When the disease is more severe, flexibility is the key. Let’s say one of your bridesmaids contracted a fairly serious illness three months before her wedding. Perhaps one that has caused her to lose a lot of work, or that requires surgery. In this situation, it is vitally important that the bride supports her sick friend 100%. Let her know that you absolutely love her at your wedding if you feel like it, or as a guest if that’s all she can do. Also make sure your bridesmaid knows that if you are feeling too sick to come, she will fully understand. This is no time to worry that groomsmen and bridesmaid numbers will end up being uneven at the last minute.
If a member of the bridal party has to withdraw due to serious illness, it would be very kind of the bride to pay for her bridesmaid dress and bridesmaid jewelry and give it to her as a gift. Your friend will undoubtedly feel terrible about disappointing you, and this is a good way to show her that you have no hard feelings. If you have a wedding program, list her as an honorary bridesmaid. It would be very, very sweet if they made her a bridesmaid bouquet and also brought it to her bedside.
In very rare cases, an immediate family member of the bride or groom (usually father, grandfather, or brother) may be so ill just before the wedding that his or her own life is at stake. There comes a time when it is necessary to postpone the wedding or reduce it drastically. It’s just in bad taste to have a big celebration when someone who should have been there is in the hospital fighting for their life. Anyway, no one will really want to have a great party, under the circumstances. The wedding should be postponed until the sick family member recovers, or passes away, until a suitable period of mourning has passed. The other option when a close family member is seriously ill is to cancel the big celebration and have a very small marriage ceremony with just the immediate family. If the very ill person is a parent of the bride or groom, you may even want to consider having their ceremony at their parents’ bedside, if the patient is able to do so. At least that way, all the most important people would still be there to witness the marriage.