The Unknown Mentor

You may ask, “What is a mentor who doesn’t know and what am I looking for in a mentor who doesn’t know?” Let’s start by explaining the concept of mentoring. Some companies use formal mentoring programs that pair less experienced employees (apprentices) with more experienced employees (mentors) in order to share knowledge. Mentors provide trainees with training, tips and advice on things to consider in their work, ways to develop a career, etc. from the perspective of someone who has been there / done that. Mentors are not usually the mentee’s supervisor, because supervisors must maintain an equal interest in responsibility for all members of their team. If a supervisor spent more time training / developing a particular individual than another, the rest of the team might interpret this as favoritism. This could damage the team’s ability to work together.

The intent of a mentoring relationship is to provide the mentee with someone to help them advance throughout their professional career and to be a sounding board for any questions, frustration, or success the mentee may have. The concept of an unknown mentor works a little differently from a typical mentoring relationship because the “unknown mentor” does not know who is mentoring you. You can schedule a meeting with them and let them know that you are glad they are mentoring you and that you look forward to getting to know them better. But I do not advise it. Your unknown mentor will not have a formal role in your development, but will make a significant contribution. Being able to observe them and how they behave in the environment will give you a wealth of information to consider and use as you see fit.

I started using this method very early in my career and was able to choose various behaviors and skills from my unknown mentors that helped me create my own personal style. A person I used to work with always had managers and supervisors in their office talking about various things. I wondered: “How can I establish the same relationship with people?” What was observed was that he was a good listener. When someone presented you with a problem, you did not solve it (although you could easily have done so), but asked for information about the problem. How did you get here? What led to this? What else has been done? The person with the problem spoke, and as they spoke, my unknown mentor asked more questions. The person would begin to see that there were some options available. They just needed someone to help them figure it out, and my unconscious mentor did this by listening and asking questions.

Another unknown mentor taught me how to deal with executives in an effective but respectful way (which can be difficult from time to time). This same mentor also had the practice of owning a person’s problem until it was resolved. When it was necessary to convey an application to someone else, she always told the applicant to come back to her if they did not receive a follow-up within a reasonable time. I would continue to carry the issue forward until the person was satisfied. Both individuals were seen as highly competent within our organization, motivated by the right things, and embedded in the company culture. I’ve been able to take his lessons, adapt them to my own style, and grow professionally a little faster than if I’d had to learn those lessons on my own.

Now that we have defined the unknown mentor, where do we find one? Hopefully, you will be able to find one or two potential candidates within your working group using the process that I am about to describe. My process identifies people who have habits and behaviors worth modeling that can lead to career success. I should point out that my definition of success is not acquiring power, prestige and money, but being a balanced, contributing and growing employee.

Over the years, I began to evaluate people based on three different factors. I like these factors because they are blind to any demographic indicator (race, gender, etc.) and can be measured by simple observation. I share this because, once explained, I believe this is a tool that you can use to evaluate potential candidates for the role of your “unknown mentor.” What you want to find in your workgroup / team / department, etc. He is a person who demonstrates the positive aspects of each of the three areas that I am going to explain.

The factors that I use to evaluate people are:

1. How well they do what they do (competition)

2. Why do they do what they do (motivation)

3. How well they fit into your employer’s culture (Fit with culture)

I define each of these as follows:

Competency – This is the easiest of the three to define because it describes someone who is technically good at what they do. Usually, there will be someone who by reputation is the “best” or one of the “best performers.” It could be the customer service representative who consistently receives high customer satisfaction numbers, the sales representative who consistently meets or exceeds your goals, or the staff member who handles issues quickly and efficiently. In other words, the person knows what he is doing and has a reputation for excellence. You can determine who meets this requirement through discussions with your manager, colleagues, or others within the group.

The opinions of your boss and coworkers are equally important to your observations on this factor. Some people may SEEM that they know what they are doing, but they do not track the results or the results they provide are inaccurate. A friend used the term “white tennis shoes” to describe an employee who looked good but couldn’t play. If you’ve ever noticed someone who’s dressed in the latest gear on the ski slope, beach, or tennis court, but seems totally lost when trying to ski, surf, or play tennis, you understand what I’m talking about. Your manager and coworkers will have a very strong opinion of someone like this. Any employee who speaks a good game but fails to deliver results negatively impacts everyone and generally has a reputation as such.

Motivation: Aside from talking to the person to find out why they are doing what they are doing, you should start to rely on their judgment for this factor. With motivation, we are looking for someone with a work motivation based on an understanding of responsibility and a desire to deliver what they are supposed to do. The best co-workers I have ever had were those who understood that they had certain responsibilities and fulfilled those responsibilities because people depended on them, or because they held to such a high standard of performance. These people put a little bit of themselves into their work, not because their work defined who they were, but because they knew that whatever they did reflected on them. They wanted to show their capabilities. If they couldn’t deliver on what they promised, they made sure you recognized it and that whoever could do the work took care of your needs.

The people who do not meet this factor are the ones who simply come to work because they need the paycheck and will probably stay until something else happens (layoff, layoff, death, lottery, etc.). They are not really interested in whether or not you get what you need or if you get answers to other questions. If you are late with something you need, it is late. If you don’t like what you got from them or what they did for you? Hard. They just work here.

You will gain nothing by observing these people.

Fitting in with the culture – This is one that you will definitely have to gather from observation and it may take a while to figure out who fits into the culture. But people who fit the culture you work in have the best information unknown mentors can offer on how to survive in your current environment. Company cultures are defined by people, and since all people are by nature very different, some people thrive in certain cultures and others do not. The people you see growing within a company are the ones who have responded well to the culture of the company, whatever it may be. Cultures tend to replicate themselves because if one type of person does well in a culture, and that culture is made up of people like them, they tend to incorporate other people like them into the culture, and so on. This can be both good and bad.

People with successful behaviors can attract people with successful behaviors and, conversely, people with unsuccessful behaviors can attract people with unsuccessful behaviors. You have probably heard of “culture change” and that it is VERY DIFFICULT … almost impossible. Culture change is difficult because there are usually a small number of people trying to convince a large number of people to change the way they think and act. It is not easy because most of them liked the way things were, and now this small group of voices is asking you to change. Without a compelling reason to change, people tend to want to stay the way they are.

As said, all companies have their own cultures. If someone has been with the company for a while and has been promoted and / or is seen as successful, they are likely to demonstrate behaviors that are consistent with the company as a whole. For example, if the company has a culture that wants action and the individual seems to be always on the go and in the middle of many things, it would probably be a good cultural match. Or, if the culture values ​​hierarchy, respect for levels and titles, and the individual seems to have fostered respectful relationships with those at higher levels and knows how to manage those relationships, they fit well into the culture.

People who don’t fit in with the culture will stand out to you. Someone who may not fit in seems to always disagree with people, whether through their words or their actions, they may not speak favorably about the company and / or their role in it, or behave in a way that does not It seems consistent with the general setting. An example of the latter could be someone with a loud and boisterous communication style who works for a company that is relatively low-key and polite in its interactions.

Based on this short explanation, I hope you understand how an Unknown Mentor could be beneficial and how you can find one. You may have many unknown mentors throughout your career; There are no limits and you can find them as an easy way to expand your own capabilities with minimal effort. It is definitely a subjective call on who you choose to be your unknown mentor, but the good thing is that you have no problem trying. No one will ever know. If you follow the guidelines above, you might be pleasantly surprised at what you learn.

Excerpt from Get off campus and go to work

by T. Jason Smith

ISBN 0-9777237-6-3

Aspen Mountain Publications

Release Date April 12, 2006