Six obstacles to networking and how to overcome them

Networking is like many things in our lives: exercising, eating more fiber and less fat, quitting smoking, saving money, writing goals, which we know are not only good for us, but are the key to success. We know this because occasionally we’ve done them enough to see and feel the results, but we didn’t keep up. Or we have seen our friends doing these things and enjoying great health. Or we’ve seen the news articles about the studies that prove these things are beneficial. We have even read the books of experts and celebrities that clearly explain these actions and habits as the reason for your wealth, health and happiness.

We know all of this, and we know that networking is a vital business development activity and an important life skill, so why don’t we do it? Because there are obstacles in the way of our success, some obvious and others so subtle that we don’t know they are there. Of the top six OBSTACLES to networking, almost all are created within our own minds. Therefore, it is simple (but perhaps not easy) to change our thinking and eliminate them.

The six reasons why we don’t network are:

misconceptions

Dislike

without purpose

without knowing how

There is no time

·Shyness

misconceptions

Do you hold onto false beliefs about networking that are mostly negative? Do you think it’s just chatting, or is it about selling, or is it just for extroverts? Did you try it once and when you didn’t get results, or you didn’t feel comfortable, you decided it wasn’t for you?

The basis of any of these fallacies is that you believe it doesn’t work or it won’t work for you. This error in thinking that is very easy to refute. Just look at the millions of entrepreneurs who are successful because of the relationships they built through networking. Read books by Dale Carnegie, Harvey Mackay, Andrea Nierenberg, and Keith Ferazzi to become convinced of the value and principles of networking.

Dislike

Don’t you like networking because you don’t feel like selling or being sold? Do you avoid it because of other people and your poor networking skills? Have you had negative experiences that have caused you to have misconceptions about networks?

If you avoid networking because you don’t like the way other people network, you need to radically change your mindset from annoyance and aversion towards these people, to compassion and see an opportunity to help them change bad habits. . And just like daily life outside of networking, we simply have to deal with those few who don’t have good skills and keep looking for the right people to build relationships with. If you have had negative experiences with networks, you need to investigate your organizations much more thoroughly. We don’t eat raw food for the rest of our lives because we once burned our hand on the stove. Avoiding networking because of other people is cutting off our noses to annoy our faces.

without purpose

Do you see networking as an endless series of meaningless cocktail parties filled with tasteless conversation? Is your contact database not growing or even shrinking as people move? Do you only network when it’s time to change jobs or when business is slow?

If you don’t have a long-term strategy and perspective, you’ll connect based on short-term needs, like losing a job. This can be very unsatisfying because despair is not attractive. Seasoned networkers will avoid your “help me now and I’ll forget you later” approach. Harvey Mackay calls it “dig your well before you’re thirsty.” His purpose in networking is to build a vibrant, growing and responsive variety of relationships that you can count on and that can count on you. Developing mutually beneficial relationships will make every conversation important and useful, no more meaningless small talk. Instead, you’ll see each time you contact or chat with someone as another vital but small contribution to the networking fabric we’re building.

without knowing how

Do you feel good meeting people, but wonder what to do next? Or you are creating your contacts, but you are not seeing results. Are you sure what kind of conversation is appropriate if you’re not going to sell?

If you lack technique or aren’t sure how to take networking from the early stages of meeting someone to a deeper relationship that will create value for both parties, then you can create in your own mind the perception that networking it does not work. Or that it’s okay for other people who don’t have ad money, but it’s not necessary for you.

Networking starts with basic social skills, like having conversations focused on others. We may feel comfortable in purely social settings, like soccer games or birthday parties, where we can talk about our children or the happy occasion, but we believe that business networking occasions should be just business. Remember that businesses are run by people, and those people have families, interests, and personal needs. Getting to know someone first is not only perfectly acceptable in the business world, but it is the foundation for building mutually beneficial relationships.

Once you’re comfortable learning about people for themselves and not as a prospect or sales target, the next step is knowing how to move the relationship forward. The most effective and easiest way to do this is to give first. Send them information, an invitation, or even a business referral. They will gladly work with you in return.

Sometimes we think we should automatically know how to network just by being in business, but this is the one topic where there is a huge gap in our education and training. Financial planning firms are notorious for bringing in their new associates, giving them detailed FINANCIAL training, no networking training, and then sending them off to network in one of the toughest industries out there. The range of skills needed in networking include conversational skills, the ability to perceive and meet other people’s needs, organization, and a clear process for creating a return on your time investment. This range of techniques requires study and application, like any complex skill.

No time for the net

Are you ready to network, but find you just don’t have the time? Aim for networking events, but then have too much work to do and can’t leave the office?

There are only two reasons why you don’t have time to network. Your life really can be so complicated with jobs, second jobs, child care, or elder care that you literally work 16 hour days every day of the week. But if you watch a single hour of meaningless TV a day, you’re just making excuses for not going online. You don’t lack time; you just don’t want to do the time.

Any busy person who has discovered a new passion or a fun new hobby has discovered that it is possible to find the moment when you want to do something. Suddenly your schedule opens up, you find new efficiencies, or you can re-prioritize. If you can’t do that with networking, review your beliefs and your purpose. Time will appear almost magically if you are clearly focused on the value of networking.

There are also ways to be much more efficient and effective with the time you spend networking. Instead of very blanket events with a random group of people, take the time to research exactly who you need to add to your network and target your networking time accordingly. A lead pool is also an efficient way to network because it focuses on giving and receiving referrals. You may even want to create your own networking events and activities. This would be a bigger time investment, but the return is much higher when you are both the organizer and the host.

If you have a short-term perspective, you will feel that the time invested is not paying off. If you think you’re wasting time, you won’t spend it. But if it’s a long-term project that will be capitalized, it’s much easier to find the time to invest. We often have to deal with urgent tasks that are not important, instead of networking, which is not urgent but very important.

shyness

Do you feel like you can’t network well because you’re an introvert? Or are feelings of shyness preventing you from networking? Most people in the population report feeling some shyness at different times. These feelings contribute to the misconception that only outgoing people are good at networking. Not having a clear purpose and needing to work on our social skills can aggravate feelings of shyness, which is basically a lack of self-confidence. Preparation and planning can build confidence, which makes us successful and gives us more confidence.

There are also networking events that are more suitable for a more introverted person. Large mixed meetings with no agenda can be difficult for anyone who is not familiar with the group. Use the buddy system and focus on smaller, more personal events to build their confidence.

Conclusion

Think carefully about your excuses for avoiding networking in relation to these six common roadblocks. Almost all of them are based on the way we think. Once we have removed these obstacles that stand between us and our goal of effective networking, our success is assured. Use diligence to make sure you don’t allow bad thinking habits and self-doubt to creep back in. From now on, it’s simply a matter of time and consistent effort.