I regret being unfaithful and would do anything to get my marriage back, but my spouse moves on

Most of the people I hear from who have cheated on their spouse express remorse. They know that what they have done is wrong. And they are quite uncomfortable at the thought that their mistake could cost them so much. Frankly, sometimes it takes them to cope with the loss of their spouse for the full impact of what they have actually done to hit them. So when your spouse tells you that they have decided that they do not want to save the marriage and that they are going to move on, feelings of regret can reach an all-time high.

A spouse might say, “I’ve never regretted anything other than cheating on my husband. I honestly can’t believe I did that. I didn’t mean for anyone to ever find out. And in my own mind, it was my way to say goodbye to my first love, who had re-enlisted in the military. I knew we might never see each other again. And I knew I very well might have been in danger. So I went out with him and gave him a kiss . He said goodbye for the night and one thing for another. But I knew that he would be leaving soon and that this would not be a threat to my marriage. Well, the other boy told his nosy sister and she told me When my husband confronted me, I considered lying because honestly, there was no proof and it was my word against that of the sister. But looking at my husband’s face, I didn’t dare to lie to him. I almost wish I had. It really cost me everything. o. He stayed at our house for a week and then or said he needed time away from me. I think she stayed with her mother, but I don’t know for sure because she didn’t take my calls. Meanwhile, he was texting her and begging her to go to therapy. He kept responding with very quick responses saying, ‘I need more time.’ So all this time when I couldn’t get close to my husband, I realized how badly I had messed things up. He knew he was wrong, but loneliness in addition to this knowledge made things much worse. As time went by, I learned that the longer my husband was absent, the greater the chances that he would ever get him back. I started texting him and asking him if he was dating other people. He replied that he wasn’t dating other people yet, but that he wasn’t ruling it out because he didn’t think he could ever forgive me. So I left him alone and gave him his time. And then last week he called me and said he wanted to tell me himself that he had decided to ‘move on’. He said he was probably going to file for divorce because he had met someone he wanted to be in a relationship with. And this is my worst fear: he finally moves on, he finally says the words. I am so full of regrets. I know this is my fault. I can’t blame my husband. And the worst part of this is knowing that everything is out of my control. I’m not sure there is anything I can do to improve this. “

I think there is always something you can do. You can work on yourself. You can let your spouse know that you will be there if they change their mind. Believe it or not, this happens sometimes. Sometimes people get separated or even divorced and spouses date other people. But as time allows things to calm down and more perspective, things change.

Only you can decide if you are willing to wait or if you want to move on as well. If you want to wait, I think the most effective way to do that is to approach your spouse as someone who will always care about their well-being and not as someone who is focused on changing their mind.

Something like this could work. The next time you speak, you could say: “I have been thinking about you moving forward and although I understand your motivations and do not blame you, I will always value our relationship and I will always take responsibility for changing everything. I will always be sorry for hurting you and putting you in danger. what we had. I don’t blame you for how you feel or what you’re doing. I would do anything to change it or to get a second chance, but I understand how you feel. I have a lot of work to do on myself and I’m going to continue down that road. I want you to know that I am always here for you if you want me to be. I know you say that you are moving forward, but you will always be very important to me. And if there is anything I can do to help you, I hope you will contact me. ” .

Sometimes you just have to leave it like that and then you have to wait. Your spouse may be watching to see if you are really working on yourself, so be sure to do so. Keep doing the work on your own and continue to be open and available in case your spouse wants to communicate. You never know what might happen, but it usually takes time. And when the time comes, you want to make sure you are as rehabbed as possible. Until then, do your best to be your best. You don’t know what’s going to happen, but you can’t go wrong improving yourself.