What makes a bad stepfather

It’s no secret that some stepparents face being branded evil and intolerable; Although some of these accusations are false, there are some situations in which a stepparent displays totally incorrect actions and behaviors. Therefore, this would make them a bad stepfather.

The stepfather may never be a fan of stepchildren, but at the same time, the stepfather should try to live amicably with his spouse’s children.

So what makes him a bad stepfather?

Speak negatively of the other parent

As a stepparent, you may have entered your spouse’s life with background information on what your ex did. Yes, they may have misbehaved and broken their spouse’s heart or even abandoned their children. What’s wrong for you as a stepfather now is talking about what the biological father did in front of the children and making a great scene about it.

Whether or not your stepchildren know about the event that led to the separation between your parents is not really for you to speak up in front of them.

Speaking ill of the biological father will never put him in the good children’s books and is a sign of immaturity on his part.

Not taking the time to get to know your stepchildren

To form a good relationship, it is important to know the children. This, as in any other type of relationship, would always take time and some effort on your part.

If they do not make a conscious decision to meet their stepchildren, then they will not understand each other and the family unit runs the risk of never becoming stable and happy.

A bad stepfather will not get to know the stepchildren because they feel that the relationship is between the two adults in the family, but this is far from the truth. Even trying to get to know children is not an act of selfishness.

Discipline your stepchildren

While it is important for all children to step up or not be disciplined when the need arises, it is particularly important to leave this to the biological parent, especially in the early stages of their relationship.

The way a stepchild would react to your discipline would be different from your biological parents and, in most cases, could cause problems for you and your spouse if you decide to discipline your stepchild. It is always best to leave this up to your spouse and discuss any issues that you think should be resolved for them.

The decision to discipline your stepchildren should be discussed between you and your spouse; the age of the children would also determine whether you would be in a position to discipline them.

Insisting that your stepchildren call you mom or dad

This is an absolute no no! It is not up to you to dictate to your stepchildren that they call you Mom or Dad. If you’ve been involved in their lives for a long time, they may decide to call you Mom or Dad, but even then, if they don’t, it’s not you who should decide that it’s about time they called you that.

In some foster parent homes, the stepchild will call the stepfather or father after they have developed a bond and, in some cases, if their other biological parent is no longer a large part of their lives.

Just because your stepchildren don’t call you mom or dad doesn’t mean they won’t love you or treat you with respect. The only time it is almost natural for a stepchild is if he is too young to remember his biological father and almost automatically starts calling you his father.

Preferential treatment for your own children

If, as a stepparent, you are offering preferential treatment to your own children to the detriment of your stepchildren, they may never trust or accept you in their lives. Yes, you love your own biological children and want the best for them; Now that you are in a new environment with your spouse and their children, it is up to you to treat all children equally.

Treating all the children in the family the same will help create a stable unit. Sometimes even when you are not conscious, your stepchildren may be watching your every action to see if you are treating them the same way you treat your own children. This may never be recognized or appreciated externally by them, but make sure that if they receive preferential treatment, they will express it quickly.

These are just a few examples of a bad stepfather.

It is generally recognized that a stepparent’s job requires hard work, perseverance, and patience. Not trying to make it work from the start is a sign that you are a bad stepfather.