Are you ready for the relationship?
So do you want to fall in love? You’re certainly old enough and you move
well throughout your chosen career path. Many of your friends are married
or in committed relationships. You got tired of the singles scene
and the lonely life. Therefore, you must be ready, right?
Not necessarily.
So what is relationship prep anyway? Exactly what it says. you are
adequately capable of handling the commitment and challenges that a
it requires an intimate and healthy relationship.
How do you know if you are ready? What are the features you need
have or acquire to be ready for true love?
There are four main areas you should explore to assess
your current state of readiness.
1. Take an inventory of past trauma and major related problems.
You should mentally review them and honestly observe how well
I’ve already addressed and resolved them.
As you work on each one, ask yourself, “Is this negatively impacting me?
in my current life. “Also explore with yourself the possibility that the
The problem could become problematic once you have entered an intimate relationship.
relationship.
If you think there are things you haven’t addressed properly yet,
I need to work on these. If you are not sure, they get closer
exam. Consider using resources such as therapy or joining a
support group.
An example of such problems may include, but is not limited to;
childhood emotional, physical or sexual abuse, parental divorce, loss
from a parent or other loved one, or an abusive or dysfunctional past love
relationship.
2. How is your self-awareness and self-esteem?
If you don’t have adequate self-knowledge and a positive sense of yourself; an intimate relationship will be difficult or impossible to maintain.
For example, do you know yourself well enough to answer the following?
Can you express your deepest values?
Do you know what you can’t live with or without a relationship?
Do you have a good understanding of your life goals?
Do you know your own strengths and weaknesses?
Now, do a quick self-esteem assessment.
How do you see yourself?
How do others see you?
Remember that it presents different selves:
at work
with the family
with friends
in meetings with acquaintances
If your answers tell you that you have a hard time accepting and liking
yourself, or if others frequently respond negatively to you in your
interactions with them, then this is an area you need to start working on.
Self-love is the foundation of all healthy relationships.
3. Are your past relationships really in the past?
If we do not get adequate closure on painful experiences / problems from
past relationships, we run the risk of bringing them to the present and
future relationships to revive and resolve.
Therefore, it is important to know that you have properly treated
any significant damage or loss and have learned from any dysfunction
dynamics to which it may have contributed.
If you find yourself falling into unhealthy patterns in your thoughts or
Behaviors in relation to others; stop, identify and then deal with
that leftover problem.
4. Do you know what you want from a relationship?
We enter into relationships for many different reasons and with many
different expectations. Knowing which ones are yours will help you
Determine if this is the right relationship for you.
Too often we “choose” someone using an unconscious level of thinking
as our main entrance. It is there that we have our deepest unmet needs,
fears and desires. Unfortunately, there is often a gulf between our
I consciously and unconsciously that keeps this information.
“hidden” from our rational and thinking side.
Therefore, it is very important to examine all your feelings and needs.
regarding any future relationships. Honestly look what you must have
And I can’t live without it
You must know what you want and need from a future partner to
to choose the most suitable for you.
Now take some time to explore these four important areas before
get into a serious romantic relationship. By doing so, you will be
helping to ensure that your new relationship is healthy and
durable.